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This week, while we struggled to cope with elevated terror alerts and the horror of flying without hair products, Tyra raised her own threat level by reminding us that we live in filth. Also, Dr. Phil went Code Red on a couple of cheating spouses. But the most terrifying news of the week? Cher got disrespected on Project Runway.
Tuesday at 3 p.m.
On “Living With a Cheater,” Dr. Phil explores the ways people discover their spouses have gone astray. Broken-hearted Rick found out that no-good Kandice was cheating the high-tech way: “Your profile on MySpace lists you as divorced.” And hopeful-romantic Arianna discovered that dirty scoundrel Robert was cheating the old-fashioned way. “Two weeks ago,” she says, “I noticed a rash on the underside of his genitals.”
Wednesday at 10 p.m.
“You should be pretty. And seen. And not open your mouth,” declares impatient designer Kayne about garrulous model Amanda. Bradley probably wishes he could say the same thing to Heidi Klum: She bids him auf Wiedersehen after he designs an outfit/tribute to Cher that she deems “unworthy of your icon.” “I don’t know shit about Cher,” shrugs Bradley.
The Tyra Banks Show
Wednesday at 10 p.m.
Tyra introduces her audience to America’s Next Top Staph Infection on “Baby Got Bacteria,” repeatedly shrieking, “There’s dookie everywhere!” As appalled audience members begin to shove hands into pockets and recoil in fear, Tyra drops the bomb: “Your remote has more germs than a toilet.” Kudos, Tyra. That’s one way to keep us from changing the channel.
Dog Whisperer With Cesar Millan
Friday at 8 p.m.
National Geographic Channel
Cesar has a tough challenge in pet owner with low self-esteem Megan, who rescues not only lost dogs but also boyfriends: “I choose the one I feel sorry for,” she says. “Both boyfriends and dogs,” scolds Cesar, “must learn discipline before gaining a woman’s affection.” Next on Whisperer: Cesar gets Megan’s boyfriend to stop peeing on the carpet.
Friday at 12 p.m.
“You ruined my life!” screams Allison, going medieval on an inflatable punching bag that symbolizes her deadbeat dad. Allison’s hard work eventually pays off when she graduates from the Starting Over house—though apparently not with honors. “Having a C is better than having an A, because you’re gonna work harder” encourages housemate Christina, offering the kind of advice that explains how a person ends up on Starting Over in the first place. —Jay Dyckman