The local boys in New Rock Church of Fire are so desperate for attention that they’ve turned to posting very negative—and very fake—reviews online: “The guitars were way too loud,” complained “Ryan Coldtrain” of the Boston Globe; the Detroit Times’ “Sandy Rockwell,” meanwhile, groused that the band’s “Ass driving rock” made her ears bleed. The majority of the other comments involved dick and grabass jokes that would probably get the band backstage passes to a Bloodhound Gang show. But it remains to be seen whether the joke is on the audience or on the band. The music is too sincere to be labeled as emo; occasionally the band even ventures into quiet, Shins-esque territory. That’s not a bad thing, especially if the Shins they’re digging is the Shins of Oh, Inverted World. So far, however, it hasn’t been enough to garner a positive review from any fictional news outlets. New Rock Church of Fire performs with Velvet, Mas y Mas, and Hammer No More the Fingers at 9 p.m. at the Black Cat, 1811 14th St. NW. $10. (202) 667-7960.