Jack Hornady
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The Afflicted: Regie Cabico, 36, National Poetry Slam–winning performance poet, theater artist, queer activist—and sometime Petworth resident.

Diagnosis: A decentralized rash of activity. Cabico splits his time between D.C., Philadelphia, and New York, juggling enough work for three: a residency at the Asian Arts Initiative in Philadelphia, teaching poetry and performance at New York City’s Bellevue Hospital, an artistic directorship at D.C. nonprofit Sol & Soul, and nationwide poetry performances. “I always say yes,” Cabico says. “Wherever the opportunity goes, I go. I don’t know if it’s a success or a curse.”

Symptoms: Jet lag, train lag, and bus lag. Cabico says that he logs up to 18 travel hours a week, including serious Chinatown bus time. “Now, if I smell pee, it smells like home,” Cabico says. When he does arrive in a city, the urge to settle down can be overwhelming. “It’s always hard to leave,” he says. “In Philadelphia, I wish I could stay longer and eat a cheese steak. In New York, I want to catch a show. In D.C., I miss going to happy hours and peeing in the bathrooms of the Smithsonian museums.”

Treatment: Nuzzle into urban polyamory while searching for a soul mate. “I’ve ended up falling in love with all of the cities,” explains Cabico. “It’s like having three lovers. It’s like being a Mormon of the city, with art.” Only some sexual healing could move Cabico to stick to one locale. “If I found a real boyfriend in one city, then I would stay there, no question about it,” he says. “But right now, I am single and available, and I’d like the people to know that.”

Artist with a problem? E-mail problem@washingtoncitypaper.com.