Before he showed up for a Valentine’s Day show with the Baltimore Symphony, Art Garfunkel’s people gave the staff at the Strathmore Music Hall a list of demands to be put in effect whenever the headliner was on the premises. According to staff, they included:

1. Don’t make eye contact with Garfunkel.

2. Don’t touch anything that Garfunkel touches—his suitcase, his water bottle, etc.

3. Never walk immediately behind or in front of Garfunkel when entering through a door. Wait a few minutes.

To paraphrase “Sounds of Silence”: “Hello, Douchebag, my old friend…”