Fung is a small-town boy who loves women’s feet and dreams of making it as a waiter in ’30s Shanghai. Hu is Fung’s best friend and would rather drag a rickshaw than work for the criminal underground, except that he decides otherwise a few scenes later and, like Fung, quickly becomes a top gangster. Kang is Hu’s brother, and when he kills Boss Hong, he becomes boss, an event he commemorates by growing an unfortunate mustache. These are the things I’m clearest on after watching Alexi Tan’s Blood Brothers, whose lush cinematography, flashbacks, and romantic music blaring through every freaking scene scream ‘derivative of John Woo’ but whose baroque plot left my brain on the floor gasping for oxygen. Here are some other things to look forward to: Shu Qi as Lulu, the femme-fatale lounge singer and seeming consort to every badass guy in the movie; Peckinpah-worthy gun battles, even though it’s not always clear who’s getting offed and who’s merely wounded; and heavy-handed narration and symbology, lest you miss any morals.