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In most porn, “story” is nothing more than a waste of film inserted between sex scenes while filmmakers pick at craft services or lounge about getting fluffed. Susan L. Schwartz’s musical take on the 1974 porn classic Debbie Does Dallas reverses that position: While most of the film’s better-with-age dialogue is preserved, explicit sex gets fast-forwarded for song-and-dance. The musical, like the film, follows the nubile young bodies of the titular high school cheerleader and her friends as they scheme to get Debbie a ride to the Dallas Cowboys squad’s tryouts. But in place of explicit blowjobs-for-bus-fare scenes, Landless Theatre director Andrew Baughman promises a phallic banana here, a candle there, and maybe even a real live penis exposed for good measure. But those looking to see Debbie’s pompoms may leave feeling limp: D.C. newcomer Alexandra Claudio, at least, doesn’t have to bare all to make her way in this town. The performance begins at 7:30 p.m. at the District of Columbia Arts Center, 2438 18th St. NW. $18. (202) 462-7833.