John Mayer, I love you. You kill me whenever you make one of your side-splitting Internet videos, like “Makin’ Music With John Mayer,” where you explain your creative process. Favorite moment: when you tell your co-writers “How about something everyone can relate to, like when you’re fucking one supermodel and you make the other ones jealous?” Or your parody of “Two Girls One Cup” in which you ruined soft-serve ice cream for my entire summer? Or your blog, for cryin’ out loud, which is sincere and touching in a way your music, which frequently makes me want to duct-tape oranges over my ears, is not. But then again, “Daughters” is a pretty good song, and I’ve seen you shred, and you are impressively tall. Is there any way we could be friends? Just, uh, don’t sweat bringing your guitar over, OK? Mayer performs at 7:30 p.m. at Merriweather Post Pavilion, 10475 Little Patuxent Parkway, Columbia. $36-$59.50. (410) 715-5550.