Sprinkle Sprinkle Little Star: Zuckerman?s dream of Superbad fame has a few holes.

Clark Duke, brown-haired and tubby, is no Jonah Hill. And he’s certainly no Michael Cera, though he’s best known for co-starring with Juno’s baby daddy in Clark and Michael, a CBS-sponsored webisode series. Ergo, Sex Drive—a raunchy, gross-out teen comedy that’s actually based on a book—is no Superbad. Of course, Duke isn’t the only reason Sean Anders’ movie ends up being little more than another forgettable addition in the tired crazy-road-trip genre, but he’s certainly the most irritating one as Lance, the BFF who talks down to salespeople, unkindly tells his brokenhearted bud, Ian (Josh Zuckerman), that his puppy-love crush just isn’t into him, and at one point dismisses their female friend, Felicia (Amanda Crew), with “Hey, sweetheart. Men are talking.” Yet this ball of charm—an angry, arrogant, even less funny version of Saturday Night Live’s Pat —beds all the hot chicks in scenes that are squirmier than the audible squish of Ian’s wet-dream underwear. Then again, “dick” is arguably a better personality trait than “generic,” and you won’t care what happens to Zuckerman’s Ian, a charisma-free virgin who steals his brother’s ’69 GTO Judge so he can meet his Internet girlfriend in person and pop his cherry. Hilarity does occasionally ensue, though it’s almost exclusively courtesy of the movie’s big guns: James Marsden follows up his brilliant Pineapple Express turn as Ian’s bonehead brother, Rex, who constantly worries that Ian is “getting gay” and goes on stream-of-consciousness, expletive-filled tangents, such as when he calls Ian a “fucking cock expert. Cockspert. What do you like better, your cock or your balls?” And Seth Green saves the movie after the kids hit the road as Ezekiel, a sarcastic Amish mechanic who mocks the teens’ assumption that he’s too country to help them: “Good luck with your future ride, Space Man!” he says when their car breaks down. Yes, Rex and Ezekiel are assholes, too, but unlike Lance, their characters are also clearly stupid and wittily smug, respectively, keys to keeping their vitriol amusing. Otherwise, this Sex Drive is weak.