Finally, an answer for anyone who feels like ESPN’s coverage of the Scripps National Spelling Bee finals plays fast and loose with the definition of “sports”: a spelling bee devoted entirely to sports. This one’s not quite ready for basic cable, but for the second year in a row, the ESPN Zone Sports Spelling Bee will feature 50 competitors who can spell “Theismann” and “Muresan” without referencing Google. The competition will be staged in elimination format, with three rounds of local and national names; sports nuts will be allowed to humiliate themselves by asking for a clarification on which team bankrolled an athlete or coach. Prizes include a VIP party package, a copy of the ESPN Sports Almanac and, of course, bragging rights—but all that may prove immaterial. What we’re really looking forward to is something that only DC United seems able to provide: a winner.

THE SPELLING BEE TAKES PLACE ON THURSDAY AT 6:30 PM AT THE ESPN ZONE, 555 12th St. NW. FREE. (202) 783-3776.