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The District social directors at Brightest Young Things have been encouraging hot-weather regression from Washingtonians all summer long with their weekly “BYT Summer Camp” excursions. After knocking out the most obvious variations on the theme—Band Camp, Space Camp, and Fat Camp—BYT delivers the most hellish destination of an adolescent’s summer vacation: Jesus Camp. BYT editrix Svetlana Legetic won’t be leading the Bible study, purity balls, and Hail Marys this Saturday, but she does promise the most idle of Christian pastimes–curing the gays. The daylong program at BYT’s Jesus Camp “but gay,” held poolside at the Capitol Skyline Hotel, features a unisex bikini contest, a “born again” tube leading into the pool, and a soundtrack courtesy of DJ Shea Van Horn—who performs in drag, incidentally, as “Summer Camp.” With a little prayer, BYT may even provide deliverance in the form of “gay nuns with tambourines.” Skyline Hotel, meanwhile, encourages campers to consummate their newly enforced heterosexuality by making it an overnighter. Room specials start at $99.

POOL PARTY BEGINS AT NOON AND RUNS UNTIL 8 P.M. AT THE CAPITOL SKYLINE HOTEL, 10 I ST. SW. $10. (912) 224-7588.