Where Spotted: Family Liquors, 710 H St. NE
Price: $5.50 per six-pack
Swill of the People: Although I can’t condone spoiling a well-made hefeweizen or witbier with fruit salad, sometimes such frippery has its place—for instance, aiding in the disposal of the swill that a friend’s co-worker brought to your party and, naturally, is the only beverage in your fridge to survive the evening. Here’s what you do: Decant your leftover shit beer. Squeeze in the juice of half an orange and a quarter of a lemon, dropping in some peel. Top with soda water and drink without remorse.
C Cup: I began this practice not as a way to deal with swill, but to satisfy my craving for a summery Berliner weisse, the acidic German beer that can run $10 a bottle. This version is no substitute, but it metes out the acid in a low-alcohol format while supplying plenty of vitamin C. Think of it not as a fruity substitute for beer, but as a grown-up substitute for lemonade.