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Lilacs began disappearing from Cleveland Park one June night—an offense so serious that the Washington Post dedicated 815 words to the savagery. “It is really just such a violation of your personal property,” one resident said. But the real astonishment involves the engine of communication and rumor that is the Cleveland Park email list, which saw at least three months’ worth of correspondence about flower filching. Email lists have rapidly aced out knocking on doors when it comes to telling neighbors how you really feel. And because they’re publicly accessible, it’s easy to kick back and watch the ridiculous responses roll in—without having to offer a comeback.