Each year, for three testosterone-charged days, D.C. floods with out-of-town men looking for hot, anonymous gay sex. But instead of the dungeon parties and S&M workshops of Mid-Atlantic Leather Weekend, the program of daytime attractions at this convention boasts discussion panels like “Are You Sick and Tired of Being Called a Racist and You Know You’re Not One?” and keynotes by Rick Santorum and Marco Rubio.

The Conservative Political Action Conference may not exactly roll out the red carpet for gays or their rights, but irony has its place in every political party—and online hook-up site. Craigslist’s m4m personals section explodes with guys looking for “discreet” trysts during CPAC, some explaining that, since acting on gay fantasies isn’t an option in their tiny hometowns, a trip to D.C. is the perfect time to get it on. They don’t often show their faces in the ad pictures, but no one’s going to recognize anything below the belt at the Ann Coulter luncheon the next day, so there’s plenty of decidedly unconservative cock shots to garner favor from interested parties.

The CPAC Craigslist boom has become so infamous in D.C. that liberals now post there, too: “In town for CPAC? Let’s hatefuck,” suggested one local leftie last year. And, in case this whole closet-case scenario wasn’t picture-perfect enough, for the past two years, the convention has made its home at the Gaylord National Resort.