Illustrations by Stephanie Rudig

Not all restaurant websites are created equal. Some entice with sexy food photos and simplicity, while others can be prohibitive enough to turn off potential diners. From blaring music to the dreaded PDF, these sites could use a little rehab:

The crime: Interrupting a killer Spotify session with music built into a website that even Kevin Mitnick couldn’t turn off.The culprits: A Baked Joint, Claudia’s 

The crime: Seizure-inducing flash that shows one picture every second, creating anxiety that there will be a memory test.The culprit: ChurchKey

The crime: No prices on the menus. The rent is too damn high to take a chance. The culprit: Tadich Grill

The crime: On the “contact us” page, offering an e-mail contact form instead of an e-mail address. Those are as effective as a message in a bottle. The culprits: Rasika, Agua 301, Agora, Belga Café, Cafe of India

The crime: Forwarding to a Facebook page. You thought you were headed to a URL, but ended up on the social media site that you swore off after a very public breakup. The culprit: Lyman’s Tavern

The crime: A site that’s cluttered with distractions because the restaurant is trying its hand at blogging.The culprits: Lincoln, Cuba Libre 

The crime: Forcing the oh-so-painful PDF menu download, which is especially annoying on a phone. The culprits: Blue Duck Tavern, Drift on 7th, Acqua Al 2, Kinship, Bucks Fishing and Camping, Slate Wine Bar + Bistro, Pennsylvania 6

The crime: Bragging about who has dined at your restaurant. Will they respect your privacy or will you too end up on the site?The culprit: Mari Vanna