All Photos by Laura Hayes.
All Photos by Laura Hayes.

The cocktail menu at Barrel’s pop-up “Make Cocktails Great Again” Trump bar is 24 X 36 inches for a very good reason. The movie poster-sized menu is meant to make your hands look tiny—an obvious jab at the Republican nominee. Yet, somehow people don’t seem to get that the whole thing is a joke.

“We’ve already gotten some hate mail, people who live in the neighborhood who think we’re all in on Trump,” says bar manager Parker Girard. “I can’t stress it enough that this is satire, so many people are like ‘how dare you?’”

While it’s silly and satirical, a lot of elbow grease went into crafting the cocktails. The names area all direct quotes from The Donald and they’re written in appropriate fonts from the Fox News ticker, New York Times, New York Post, and more. “I beat China all the time. All the time,” for example is written in standard fortune cookie scrawl.

The drinks themselves are also clever. The “I moved on her like a bitch—when you’re a star, they let you do it. You can do anything…grab them right by the pussy,” features Civic Vodka from Republic Restoratives for a reason. “It’s local and it’s a female owned distillery,” Girard says. “If we’re going to promote this kind of language, the main beneficiary should be the company that sells us the liquor.”

The cocktails are $13, with two exceptions. A beer and a shot combo that features a 24oz. can of Narragansett Lager and Old Crow Bourbon is $11 (again poking fun at Trump’s small hands). Then there’s the “Part of the beauty of me is that I’m very rich” which is a standard Mint Julep except that it’s made with Barterhouse 20yr. It comes in a faux cold Julep cup so you can flaunt your wealth.

Find the bar in the basement of Barrel, which is also known as the Elixir Bar. You’ll have to walk under a sign that says, “caution locker room talk” before encountering patriotic bunting, Trump cut-outs, and Trump campaign posters. “The unofficial name is Trump Campaign Quarters,” Girard says.

The bar opens at 6 p.m. on Tuesdays through Saturdays and they plan to keep it up through Election Day, and maybe even later than that. Note that the bar is closed tonight (10/26) for a private event.

Barrel, 613 Pennsylvania Ave. SE; (202) 543-3622;