Laura Hayes

It doesn’t just happen with hotel towels. Restaurant patrons have sticky fingers too. In fact, Eater has an entire column dedicated to the things Washingtonians snatch—from Le Diplomate‘s wallpaper to beloved stuffed animals and statues like Crisp‘s chicken and Bearnaise‘s bulldog. A new beer garden in Park View is fighting back by searching patrons’ bags when they leave, but it’s not sitting well with all customers.

Yelper Josh H. was taken aback by the policy when he visited Midlands Beer Garden this month. He writes in a scathing review (that he since deleted), “The first interaction with Midlands staff you’re likely to have is a doorman informing you that your bag will be searched upon exiting. Presuming every customer is a crook isn’t the best way to set the tone for a customer relationship.”

Of course, Josh H. also complained about the 10 percent sales tax, about which restaurants have no say, and the beer garden’s mural. 

But what’s a bar owner to do when his glasses keep ending up as stowaways in purses and backpacks? “We’re not the TSA. We’re just doing a quick peek into bags,” owner Peyton Sherwood says. When faced with the same problem, Dacha Beer Garden instituted a policy to hold a customer photo IDs until they returned an empty boot of beer. 

Of course, Sherwood hit back at Josh H. on the online review platform. Here’s the relevant part of the retort in all its “GTFOH” glory. 

Wow… where to begin with this masterpiece of a review. How about I just break it down point by point- 

1. Bouncers & Bag Checks: 

People steal.  Its just a fact of life in the bar & restaurant industry. Nobody knows exactly why people steal, but there is something about Winona-Rydering glassware that gets people all antsy in their pantsy. I have invested in very nice glassware to help make the experience for you and your friends better and guess what? That stuff costs money and we have already had to spend thousands of dollars on more glassware since we opened (a month and a half ago) because of theft so if a friendly bouncer reminds you of our bag check policy that shouldn’t make you feel like a criminal unless you are one… hmm??? are ya? You a glass thief? I bet you are, Josh. I bet you are. GTFOH

Merry Christmas, Scrooge. 

Love, 

The Owner: Peyton- 

PS.

#GTFOH