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HO HO WHO: Sia, the mercurial, perpetually wigged-out Australian singer-songwriter, known for her ridiculously catchy Top 40 jams and upbeat caterwauling.
SANTA THE SUPERVILLAIN: For some reason, Sia decided to put out a Christmas album this year. This lead single from Everyday is Christmas is a predictably uptempo Sia-y track, with barely coherent lyrics, unintelligible singing, and a holiday soundboard of bells backing her. What makes it unique is the added bonus of painting Santa as more of an ominous lurker than a benevolent gifter of presents. She croons “Santa’s coming for us,” repeatedly—literally 14 times—throughout the song. It makes sense. I mean this total rando dude “sees you when you’re sleeping” and “knows when you’re awake.” He also purports to know when you’ve been “bad or good” and threatens you to be “good for goodness sake.” I’m a little afraid of Santa.
SOUNDS FAMILIAR: It seems like she just wanted to cover “Santa Claus is Coming to Town” but since her album features entirely new songs, she came up with this instead. Repeating the song’s title doesn’t make the song better, it only makes it longer. Please, sing “Santa Claus is Coming to Town” if you want to sing it, sis.
CHEER FACTOR: 6/10. Sia’s songs have this way of worming themselves right into your head, whether you want them there or not. “Santa’s Coming For Us” is no exception. Upon first listen, I thought the song was a bit absurd. I still do. But I also find myself humming it every now and then, and hate myself for it. Santa has come for me.