The super simple vodka soda may be the third most popular cocktail in D.C., according to WCP’s latest research, but DC9 thinks the drink deserves its own pop-up from Dec. 18-28. The bar’s cook, Amber Bursik, came up with the idea. At first it was an inside joke, but then it grew a mind of its own. “We’re poking fun at the vodka soda crowd but also paying homage to them because they pay a lot of my bills,” says beverage manager Lauren McGrath

That’s not all they’re gently mocking. While seven of eight drinks offered will be variations of vodka sodas, McGrath says an eighth will “poke a little fun at the ‘new neighborhood.”” It will have candy canes, something you might find at one of Shaw’s pop-up holiday bars. 

McGrath is particularly excited to pour Van Gogh double espresso vodka, which she says was super trendy a few years ago before falling off the map. She classifies it as “super yummy.” All drinks will be priced at $9.

The vodka soda pop-up bar will only take place on the ground floor of DC9. The second floor and roof deck will remained unchanged. “If people think they’re too cool to drink vodka soda, they can still drink Natty Boh on the roof,” McGrath says. “But drink the damn vodka soda.” 

Mum’s the word on the bar’s decorations, though McGrath says she’s been saving up LaCroix sparkling water cans for months. 

The bar has created a Facebook page for the event with more details about the pop-up. Close to 90 people have already responded to say they’re attending. And whoever wrote the following description, call me because I want to hire you:

“We found ourselves asking… what is a cocktail that exemplifies pure, untainted class and dignity? If the founding fathers weren’t presidents and were actual just new to town and worked for an NGO, what might *they* drink? What’s a beverage that screams, “I want what he’s having, but with a splash of cran and six lemons?

The answer was easy, the Vodka Soda. It’s the new (Russian?) American classic, a drink that allows one to feel like they’re really getting their money’s worth at that boutique cycling studio (only 96 calories!) while still being able to use the #lit hashtag on Instagram during late night. It’s a gluten free delight that has actually always been gluten free, so there’s really no need to keep ordering it gluten free! Hell, depending on your worldview, consuming multiple vodka sodas *could* be referred to as a detox cleanse.

On Monday, December 18th, the first floor of DC9 Nightclub will transform from your beloved neighborhood pre-show beer and burger pub to a winter wonderland of the most basic (and bae-sic) delights. Where stacks of Natty Boh once sat will rest La Croix, the nectar of our millennial gods. Pop hits will stream from our speakers to bring out your inner WOOOOOO girl, and more bubbles will hang from our walls than Lady Gaga’s 2009 House of Blues dress.

Our bartenders, ahem, mixologists, have been hard at work, asking themselves, “well what the hell else can we put in a vodka soda?” and taste testing enough flavored booze to make a Buzzfeed listicle. What they’ve come up with is deceptively delicious considering their Irish whiskey favoring palates, because hey, fizzy water from a can *is* fucking delicious. 

The Vodka Soda Bar will be open from Monday, December 18th and will run until Thursday December 28th on the first floor of DC9 Nightclub during regular service hours. Our heated roof top bar will remain open without interruption for those of who feel too cool for bubbly water (you’re not!). Check out dcnine.com all year long for our live music and event schedule.(Obviously we aren’t taking ourselves too seriously this holiday season, and you shouldn’t either! So come celebrate the most basic of drink choices, shoot a few selfies, and enjoy. See you on the 18th!)” 

DC9, 1940 9th St. NW, (202) 483-5000, dcnine.com