The wonkiest, weirdest, most impractical and outrageously priced homes up for sale this week. Have a listing in mind? Send it to mbaskin@washingtoncitypaper.com. 

• This absolute shell of a Deanwood “bungalow” whose listing agent would like us to believe that looks “can be deceiving.” [Zillow] 
• Just read the entire description for what some residents of Mount Pleasant refer to as the “Liberace” house (emphasis mine): “Prius performance/Maserati’s body, leg-room/head-room, wind in your hair, where open air seating’s got you dealing with feelings that the ceiling’s not there, where moonroofs/skylights mean bright days/peaceful nights, openly social, private reposals, retreating to suites, a lower complete, guest-stashing, check cashing, airbnb, or extend the family via casual encounters in a massive master shower.”Casual encounters all yours for $998,500. [h/t PoPville]
•  This $600,000 3-bedroom that looks like the Leaning Tower of Pisa. [Redfin]
• A 16th Street Heights apartment with red and black walls that looks stuck in 1992. [Redfin]
• Not for sale, but this $1650-per-month basement (internet and water not included!) looks… dusty. [Craigslist]
• A $250,000 Mount Rainier “tear-down” that is “* * UNSAFE * * DO NOT ENTER THIS PROPERTY * *” [Redfin]