The wonkiest, weirdest, most impractical and outrageously priced homes up for sale this week. Have a listing in mind? Send it to mbaskin@washingtoncitypaper.com. 

• Would you like to live inside a fire hydrant? Now you can. [Redfin]
• An admittedly incredible Mediterranean-style spread for nearly $4 million in Foxhall [Redfin]
• Another multi-million-dollar Foxhall mini-estate, this one a Georgian “crown jewel” allegedly built on the grounds of a former Rockefeller estate [craigslist] 
• This aggressively blue and green Deanwood home for $235,000 [Zillow]
• Or, for $15,000 more than the cost of that home, an empty Deanwood lot. [Zillow]
• A $1.2 million Florida Ave NE townhouse with the potential to become three, four, five, or six units. Oh, and “rehab needed.” [craigslist]