The wonkiest, weirdest, most impractical and outrageously priced homes up for sale this week. Have a listing in mind? Send it to mbaskin@washingtoncitypaper.com. 

• No photos for this $4,300,000, 15-unit building for sale in Northeast D.C., but the seller would like to assure you that “no TOPA rights exist.” Want to know where it is? You’ll need to sign an NDA. [craigslist] 
• A $200,000 home in Northeast that needs a lot of love and pressure-cleaning [Zillow]
• This Brentwood Road NE home is a great option if you really love carpet. [Redfin]
• A whopping $780,000 Decatur Street NW home (and that’s after a price reduction) [craigslist]
• A $446,000 Woodridge home in total disarray, featuring lots––LOTS––of teal [Zillow]
• This spacious, $150,000 Colonial-style Fairmount Heights home with cranberry carpet and rickety stairs [Zillow]