The wonkiest, weirdest, most impractical and outrageously priced homes up for sale this week. Have a listing in mind? Send it to mbaskin@washingtoncitypaper.com. 

• This four-bedroom Friendship Heights home is quite charming. It’s also [checks notes] $1.19 million. [Redfin]
• For $400,000, you too could live in the Washington Channel—one of the most “happening and convenient areas of D.C.” [Zillow] 
• A five-bedroom, four-floor Columbia Heights rowhouse is on the market for $930,000. It’s an “off-market deal … NOT on the MLS.” [craigslist] 
• A two-bedroom “diamond in the rough” on Eads Street NE awaits you. (It’s got an exceptional porch.) $200,000. [Zillow]
• This 540-square-foot condo in Columbia Heights looks like it’s ripped straight from Joanna Gaines‘ dreams. $350,000. [Zillow]
• If you’ve any desire to live right atop the Chinatown Metro stop, here’s your $588,000 chance. [Redfin]